Save yourself
Publicado en Jan 24, 2017
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"Look at me when I'm talkin' to you 
You looking at me but I'm lookin' through you
I see the blood in your eyes
I see the love in disguise
I see the pain hidden in your pray
I see you're not satisfied
And I don't see nobody elseI see myself
I'm looking at the..."  
 
 What am i seeing? What is that broken and powerless thing I am looking at? 
Wait, what is this monster that just appears in a moment?
She is looking at me, just right in my eyes, seems like she knows what I'm thinking, that she knows what i feel. I know she is disgusting  'cause she don't understand.
She is scaring me. She hate me, I can see it in her eyes, she isn't agree of what i've doing, she is not satisfied, she is trying to destroy me, and she want to control me. 
This monster is showing me things, things that i don't want to see, i ask her to stop but she don't. She is repeating photograps and conversations of years once at once, and again.And i say no.She looks desperate, she is pulling her hair away, she is screaming, hit it things, breaking.
but she is intelligent, i know, and she knows me too. So, she stops and then she start to talk with one of the most softly voice i've ever hear, she told me that she understand me, that she can understand my pain and feel it too, that she could save me, but i know the truth.
I said no. 
Another things appears, i don't know what it is.
She is white like paper, sick to the bones and i find her beautiful as fu*k.
She don't talk, she is just offering me her hand, she is inviting me to another place, i should follow her?
Her eyes are dead, she don't smile and i swear i was trying to help her, but she is showing me a knife, she wants company.
I like her, i love her. The mark on her skin, the purple veins in her arms, her beautiful eyes.
But i can't go, she will never love like i do, her heart doesn't beat So i can't save her. 
Her image just leave and be replaced Wait why are you crying beauty? Your make up is ruined, your bloodshot eyes hurt and you are scratching yourself.
It's hurting me. Please stop.
But you can't control yourself right? don't worry baby just hold me tight.
Why? why are you pushing me away? why are you screaming at me? don't you want me closer? why are you leaving?  
Now I'm alone.
 
What is that broken and poweless thing i see?
what's on her eyes? why yo believe you are able to have something in that ugly eyes? you believe that something will change? What did you say?
Hope? Love?
Hope will not save you and no ones love you right? You are useless.
Her tears falls from her eyes but she is still trying to speak.
Why? i don't like you. I hate you!. Please don't say that what you think is real, you are not able to feel something if you are always messing things up!. 
And no. I won't forgive you.
And she is still crying but she is trying to show me something, she want me to feel, at the same time we touch our right arm, i know i'm crying too, i know what she means.
I look at her, she is worried about.
"Will you fight back?" We ask
and we smiled together.
 
 
"... mirror on the wall here we are again,
Through my rise and fall, you've been my only friend
You told me that they can understand the man I am
So why are we here talkin' to each other again."
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Foto del autor Karen Ferrer
Textos Publicados: 9
Miembro desde: Aug 22, 2016
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Descripción

Palabras Clave: mirror me yourself myself

Categoría: Ensayos

Subcategoría: Pensamientos



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